FOCUS: SEPARATING SUCCESS FROM FAILURE
There are many characteristics that help people become successful in life: commitment, consistency, persistence, dedication… However, the most important ingredient of success at Epic Share is focus. It’s even one of the 12 principles in Kosta Gara’s book, “Organic Networker.” Today is about learning how to focus on what really matters: accomplishing your dreams.
25/5 AND 10/3
Warren Buffet, one of the wealthiest men in the world, discussed the important of focus and created a rule known as 25/5. You must begin with a list of the top 25 goals you want to accomplish in your entire life, not within the next 10 – 30 days. Once you have a list of 25 top lifetime goals, review the list again and circle the 5 most important ones.
As humans, it’s easy to have goals and dreams, but unfortunately, many people will only be able to accomplish 2 – 4 major goals in their lives. Having a list of 25 is exciting, but unrealistic. This is why it’s more efficient to focus on the top 5: the ones that are of the most importance to you and your life. Eliminating the other 20 can be difficult to do, but ultimately, they are just a distraction.
Kosta has a similar rule he discusses in “Organic Networker” called the 10/3 where he prioritizes 3 goals from a list of 10. This rule can also be used in your day-to-day life by prioritizing what needs to be accomplished in one day, rather than in a lifetime. Kosta does this every morning; he wakes up, looks at 10 things he wants to accomplish that day, and begins prioritizing his tasks. Though he might not complete everything that day, he knows he can at least accomplish three items from his list.
This mentality of always moving forward is the meaning behind Kosta’s tattoo: “kaizen.” In Japanese, this word means constant and never-ending improvement. So, whether you’re creating a list for your life or a list for the next 12 hours, decide what you can do better today. Set your goals every day, every week, every month… Choose your top priorities by what’s important to you, not your friends or colleagues. What is it that you want to accomplish? Write it down and start focusing.
WHICH RULE SHOULD I USE?
Pick a technique that suits your needs. Kosta and Sammy support each other in everything they do, but they have different personalities and different minds. This means, what works for Kosta might not work for Sammy, and they’ve come to understand this fact. This is why although Sammy agrees with Kosta’s values, she often finds her own way to accomplish things. You must do the same.
Whether you decide to use Warren Buffet’s 25/5, Kosta Gara’s 10/3, or someone else’s rule, limit your list of wants or needs so you can focus on what’s important. It’s easy to get distracted or overwhelmed if you allow your list to be too long. The key here is baby steps! You need to learn to crawl before you can run. Focus on the main goals you want to accomplish and then devote, dedicate, and zoom into that list.
Whether you decide to use Warren Buffet’s 25/5, Kosta Gara’s 10/3, or someone else’s rule, limit your list of wants or needs so you can focus on what’s important. It’s easy to get distracted or overwhelmed if you allow your list to be too long. The key here is baby steps! You need to learn to crawl before you can run. Focus on the main goals you want to accomplish and then devote, dedicate, and zoom into that list.
I’VE MADE A LIST. NOW WHAT?
There’s desire in everyone. People want and people need. You deserve to have the things you want to accomplish! However, simply making a list isn’t enough. You need to constantly analyze your priorities. Reflect on what’s most important to you today, tomorrow, and 10 years from now. This is how Sammy and Kosta have both achieved success.
You can also visualize your priorities. This is one of the greatest gifts the human mind has: visualization. Sammy says, “In order to manifest something, visualize it.” Believe you already have it, you deserve it, you own it. Once you can picture your future, get excited. It’s impossible to succeed if you don’t feel successful.
Kosta is well known for his ability to focus and stay productive. This is because he’s very consistent with his actions. Every action you take must be one that will lead to success. Sammy lives her life today based on what she wants to accomplish in the future. Everyone has a dream, so make sure what you say and do are representations of what you want to achieve. People often behave in ways that do not contribute to their future. This is what is called wishful thinking. What you wish for needs to be what you’re working toward. In fact, this is another topic covered in “Organic Networker.” Focus is what allows you to zero in on your goal.
IS THIS ONLY FOR BUSINESS?
These rules for focusing on your goals can be applied to any aspect of your life and anything you want to accomplish! For example, if you wanted to go on vacation, what are you doing now to plan for that future? Are you saving money? Are you researching information? You can’t be sitting on the couch, watching Netflix, and daydreaming about the beach. Every action you take in the present determines where you’re going in the future. You have to take action and zoom in on the goal. If you want a vacation, what can you do today to work toward accomplishing that?
Another example could be relationships. Are you single and wishing you could meet Mr. or Mrs. Right? Well, what are you doing today to work toward that goal? Where are you going to meet people? What actions can you take right now to move forward?
If you surround yourself with successful people that you connect with, they will support you and help speed your accomplishments. Sammy believes likeminded individuals will even help you manifest your desires. This also means being around people you don’t connect with will hinder your goals. Sammy has been on a path of positivity for 25 years, but it only takes one negative person to suck her down again. Why? Because she’s human.
If you want to succeed, surround yourself with success. Learn from people you want to learn from. If you want to make money, learn from people who believe they’re worthy of wealth.
CONCLUSION
Kosta has studied many topics over the years and learned from countless successful people. He’s fortunate to have so many successful people in his social circle today. Of all the self-made millionaires he’s met over the last 25 years, all of them attribute their success to one thing: focus. That should be your priority. To succeed, you need to focus.
- Published in Business, Coaching, Epic Share, Featured, Knowledge, Life, Networking, Success
LIVE RICH, LIVE WELL
With Epic Share’s co-hosts having been out of town, they’ve returned hoping to remind everyone to appreciate cultural differences. Sammy and Kosta have traveled the world and had the opportunity to adapt to environments and cultures very different from their own. Traveling is a chance to step back and evaluate world values while learning to understand others. This is what living rich and living well is all about.
Living rich is about appreciating people and cultures, and reminding yourself not to take things for granted. Living well is about allowing yourself to understand another person and their culture from their point of view so you can live a simpler life.
As discussed in Thomas Friedman’s book, “The World is Flat,” globalization has made it easy to pack your bags and relocate to a new country; however, to truly benefit from traveling to other countries, one must learn to appreciate the cultures of the world.
LEARNING THE LANGUAGE
When Sammy first moved from Africa to North America, she did not speak any English. She chose to learn English because she knew North America would soon become her new home. If she wanted to be able to communicate with others in this new country, she had to adapt to the culture and the language.
Kosta, too, moved here 30 years ago with little to no English-speaking skills. Though it was an up-hill battle, he decided he had to learn the language and culture if he wanted to put food on the table.
LEARNING THE CULTURE
The first thing Kosta did when he moved to South Korea in 2003 was read about the country. He spent weeks researching online and reading everything he could about the culture, behaviors, societal expectations, and even business etiquette. Every detail matters, from how to say “hello” to business communication styles. Every factor will contribute to your success.
Kosta and Sammy believe what’s missing in North American society is a lack of education about how the rest of the world lives. When Sammy was in China, she witnessed Chinese society learning about the world’s culture and history. Living in Africa was the same: they wanted to learn about the world. Unfortunately, from Kosta and Sammy’s experience, North America seems to not be as conscious as other countries. Instead, they’re focused on their own culture and way of living.
If Kosta were to move to Mexico tomorrow, the first thing he would do is research the culture and learn the language. By setting foot in their country, he’s being welcomed by them. So, rather than sticking to his own language and customs, he would adapt to their lifestyle.
ADAPTING TO THE CULTURE
When traveling, you need to value the culture or you will not enjoy the time you spend there because you will be coming from a place of judgment. Sammy is often asked how she could enjoy teaching in China, but it’s because she shifted her perception to love the country.
Kosta has had the opportunity to shift his perception many times, as he’s traveled around the globe three times and been to every corner of Earth. When he moved to South Korea, he realized he needed to adapt to their way of living. It will not always be an easy task; many cultures are very different from the rest. Singapore, Australia, Japan… No matter where Kosta moved, he always adapted to the culture. This was the only way to be successful, to be happy, and to live a prosperous life.
Sammy’s first year in China was her most difficult because she remained in her box. She tried living life in China the way she lived at home. However, when she opened her mind and tried to understand the culture, things made sense. For example, in North America, a common habit is to kindly accept gifts or food you do not like, but having this habit in China was not easy. Instead, everyone continued to bring her more of the food she didn’t like. If she had been honest, this would not have happened. Today, she has adapted to Chinese culture and is very honest with everyone when she visits the country. By adapting to their culture, it has made her travels easier and stress-free.
Kosta constantly reminds himself that he was welcomed to this country as a guest and an immigrant. Today, it is his home, but before, he had to adapt to the culture, laws, and policies to learn how to communicate with others, understand behaviors, and be grateful. It’s no different than welcoming someone into your house and having them follow the rules. It’s your job as the guest to learn the language, learn the customs, and adapt to the way of living. If Kosta was asked what his top three keys to success are as someone who came to North America with only $75 and became a multimillionaire, he would say, “Adapting to the culture, adapting to the environment, and adjusting.”
CONCLUSION
Just be open-minded when visiting other countries. If you’re not traveling in the next six months, allow yourself to be curious. Go online and research different cultures. Cultural representation on TV is not necessarily accurate, so experience it for yourself. You have to understand cultures if you want to understand why people behave certain ways. If you don’t embrace other cultures or try to understand others, your life will not be as rich or as well as it could be. Stop living in judgement! Live a life of love.
- Published in Coaching, Epic Share, Life, Relationship, Success
INCREASING YOUR INCOME BY 25%
Everyone has a topic they connect with; for Kosta, he attributes the majority of his success to his organization and time management skills. You only have so many hours in the day, and everyone has been blessed with the same times. So, why is it some people are able to utilize those hours better than others? Time management is really “life management.” It’s about getting every aspect of your life under control so you can enjoy the success of your day.
BENEFITS OF TIME MANAGEMENT
Everyone can benefit from utilizing time management techniques, but what exactly are the benefits? You have about 2,000 hours every year that you put into your day-to-day work. If you were to spend just two hours every weekday, utilizing these techniques, you could not only be more productive, but increase your income by 25%. How? Take a look at the formula below:
2 hours per day x 5 days per week x 52 weeks = 520 hours of productivity per year
That’s about a quarter of an entire year’s worth of work condensed into just 2 hours a day. Think about that. If you have a job and you’re able to be more productive by 2 hours per day, wouldn’t your boss notice? Your boss will see the dedication you have and the effort you’re putting in, and he or she will grant you more benefits and a higher salary! Own your own business? Well, these rules apply to you too! 2 hours of productivity every day means a 25% increase in your revenue, 25% increase in your income, 25% increase in the time you put into building your business. No matter what industry you’re in, time is money. Time is precious, and once it’s gone, it’s expired. Focus on utilizing every minute.
Still not convinced in the benefits of time management? Being productive also provides you with these:
- More energy
- Less stress
- More time
These are the results that Kosta has been able to enjoy over the last 20 years of mastering his time management techniques. One of the greatest motivations is pleasure, and that’s exactly what productivity gives you. You feel great about everything you do!
Time management is a tool that allows you to get from point A to point B, like a vehicle. Utilizing these skills gives you the opportunity to be more productive, less stressed, and to enjoy life. That’s what time management is about. It’s a discipline to master your life that allows you to be, have, and do anything you want.
BEGIN WITH THE END IN MIND
Before beginning your task, you should know what you must accomplish. Have the end in sight so you can properly execute your task.
Plan your days in advance. Have you ever suddenly realized the whole day is gone and you haven’t achieved anything? Many people experience this, and it’s commonly caused by one mistake: forgetting to plan out tasks before starting. Have a check-list ready to go so you can stay focused and on-task. You can even plan your tasks the night before so you aren’t rushed to schedule your day.
Of course you can’t accomplish everything at once, so prioritize! What’s the most important task you need to complete? Organize your day based on which tasks are time-sensitive. The least important tasks can be achieved tomorrow or even next week.
Organizing tasks by location helps categorize your time. Get the farthest tasks done first, since those typically take more time. The tasks closest to you can be done the next day. Don’t forget to assign an accurate time-frame to each task so you don’t overbook your day or find yourself running from one task to the next without any time to spare.
REVISIT YOUR PLAN IN THE MORNING
When you wake up in the morning, decide if any of your priorities have changed. Is there anything you need to add to your list? What about anything you need to remove?
Remember not to spend too much time reading emails or exploring social media when you wake up. It’s easy to become engulfed in your phone and lose track of time. Spending less time on emails and messages allows you more time for productivity.
Routine helps keep you on-task too. Kosta is known for his high-energy breakfast, which he has had every morning at 6:30AM for the last 14 years! Give yourself the energy you need with a powerful breakfast in order to be efficient throughout the day.
GET TASKS DONE DAILY
Map your tasks by location so you know which ones you need to go to first. Imagine driving 90 minutes one way, coming all the way back home, and then realizing your next task was 15 minutes from your previous location! Avoid this by prioritizing your tasks by location and importance.
Don’t forget to be as prepared as possible. Have a plan B, plan C, and plan D ready to be implemented. What happens if someone doesn’t show up? What happens if the location is closed? You need to have a plan to avoid blips in your schedule that slow you down. Over the last 20 years, Kosta has become a master at being prepared. If he’s standing in line at the bank or waiting to get his coffee, he’s also making calls. He prepares a task to accomplish every moment of the day to maximize productivity.
CONCLUSION
Time management isn’t an overnight success; it’s a success that requires dedication over time. Kosta’s book, Organic Networker, has a chapter on time management, which you can review for more details, tips, and techniques! Read the chapter and see what you can start applying to your day-to-day life. You have to have the discipline to build a habit. Consider what this could do for you: a simple 2 hours a day, at the end of the year, is over 500 hours of productivity. That’s extra time, extra income, extra energy! Whatever it is you want to achieve, discipline yourself to follow time management techniques consistently and consecutively.
Setting and respecting boundaries
Many of us don’t like to discuss boundaries, yet it’s one of the most important parts of being human. Everyone should consider their own and other’s boundaries so your relationships are surrounded by respect. You can apply these rules of boundaries to every aspect in your life: friends, family, kids, coworkers, and even animals.
The night before Episode 5 aired, Sammy had trouble sleeping; she didn’t mind though, since whenever she can’t sleep, it’s because she needs to meditate. She meditated on the topic she would be discussing on camera and wondered how to share boundaries without making anyone uncomfortable. She needed to find a gentle way to explain the importance of boundaries. Then she realized, boundaries are all about communication. If you can communicate from a leadership approach, then you’ll be able to set and respect boundaries without any problems.
WITH ANIMALS
Whether you have a cat or a dog, it’s important to set boundaries with your pet. Sammy herself is a cat-person, and although she knows how to set boundaries now, she wasn’t confident in her skills in the past. Before, she felt she had no boundaries between her pets; she would cater to their wants on their time. When you do this, you don’t realize they’re the ones making the decisions. This is why trainers are so helpful; they teach your pets boundaries so they can stay focused and respect you. This is something you can do on your own as well.
WITH CHILDREN
When sitting down with your children or grandchildren, it’s important to be able to teach them boundaries at a young age so they learn every cause has an effect. If you do good things, good things happen; if you do bad things, bad experiences will come your way. They must understand this early on so they can decide what experiences they want to create for themselves.
When children become teenagers, the boundaries they have shift. As a parent, one should respect their teenager’s privacy. This is something many parents forget to do; instead, they invade their children’s boundaries. This creates conflict which leads to arguments. Ultimately, respect between parent and child is lost due to a disrespect of boundaries.
WITH SPOUSES
No matter who you’re in a romantic relationship with, space is something everyone needs. Sammy learned how and when to give her husband space; Kosta also knows when his wife needs space. They give each other space because they honor the request without question. Having boundaries teaches you to step back sometimes, and to let others know you respect them enough to allow them time to themselves.
WITH FRIENDS
Likes and dislikes can also be respectable boundaries. Sammy’s friends know what she likes; they also know what she doesn’t like. Your friends should know your personality and what you feel comfortable doing. Sammy’s friends know what kind of events to invite her to, and they respect whether or not she will accept the invitation. When you have this connection with friends, you can mutually respect each other’s boundaries.
WITH FAMILY
When visiting family, it’s easy to invade each other’s space. The trick is to adapt to the other person’s schedule to respect their boundaries while setting your own. When Sammy visits her mother out of town, she recognizes her mother likes to sleep in late. Sammy makes sure not to complain or expect her mother to wake up early because this is where her mother is comfortable. Instead, she allows her mother to stick to her usual schedule and Sammy works around it.
WITH COWORKERS
Many of the relationships discussed today are found in the office too; whether you work with your spouse, you’re friends with your coworker, or your boss brings her dog to the office, the same rules apply. Though boundaries are occasionally not needed, when a boundary must be set, you need to come from a loving place. Explain your boundaries in a kind manner so your coworkers can respect your comfort zones. You need to take a leadership approach and come to them with confidence when discussing what works for you.
LIVING THE TRUTH
Sammy once had a friend who shared with her something he was teaching his children: “I’ve been telling them smoking is bad for them,” he said. Sammy, however, realized her friend was still smoking in front of his children. If you want to teach your children right from wrong, you must lead by example. Whether it’s your children or your spouse or your friend, you can be the example they follow.
At the end of the day, Kosta can tell if Sammy walks the walk and talks the talk. He will know if she’s not living what she preaches. When you say something, mean it. This is the easiest way to let others know who you are and what you expect from others. Communicate from a loving place so your boundaries are clearly understood.
CONCLUSION
Often, people are uncomfortable setting boundaries with others. This is because society views boundaries as a negative topic. Boundaries, however, aren’t negative. They’re positive. Everyone can benefit from setting and respecting boundaries. It strengthens your relationships! Using a loving, kind approach is most beneficial for both sides. Boundaries are all about communication. If you speak with confidence, your boundaries will be respected because you are not attacking or accusing others.
Analyze your life and consider how boundaries–healthy and broken–have impacted you, your loved ones, friends, family, and even pets. If you care enough about those relationships, what are you willing to do today to change? Do you want others to hear you? To talk to you? To listen to your true self? Then communicate. Communicate with confidence and love about the true person that you are, your needs, and your desires. If you come from a loving place, everyone will understand.
- Published in Epic Share, Knowledge, Life, Relationship, Success
Creating Mutual Gain and Win-Win
A lot of what people do in society revolves around themselves. Oftentimes, people forget arguments and discussions can be solved with a win-win. It’s part of human DNA to behave this way. Humans have adapted over the years and over generations to think about themselves first, but today, Epic Share is going to discuss how you can come up with win-win solutions with good intentions. Win-win solutions can be applied to all sorts of aspects in your left; however, most can be applied to two categories of your life: relationships and communication.
COMMUNICATE FIRST
Whether it’s a relationship between a couple or between friends, communication needs to take place. Unfortunately, what most people do is sweep conflicts under the rug when it isn’t convenient to discuss it. This is something Sammy experienced first-hand in a previous relationship. It affected her multiple times. When her then-partner wanted to discuss something, she would communicate with him. However, if it was a concern she wanted to discuss, he would avoid communicating and excuse himself by saying, “It doesn’t bring me peace to talk about it.” This habit often leads to a weak relationship. This is because not being able to communicate your concerns creates resentment. Sadly, resentment exists in many relationships.
WIN-WIN WITH BUSINESS PARTNERS
This necessity to communicate can also be applied in the business world. Kosta has had to discuss concerns with his colleagues and negotiate with his business partners countless times. He’s confident every deal he’s ever made has started with a win-win mentality. The trick is not to think about how you can win and the other person can lose, but rather to think of it as 50/50. If someone isn’t winning, there will be resentment.
You can take this philosophy and apply it to any relationship in the office: with your coworkers, with your employers, etc. In fact, Kosta uses this philosophy with his employees. He always presents them with a win-win. Win for you, win for the company. When win-wins are used in the office, everybody is happy. Employees are going to outperform and put their heart and soul into their work.
Sammy has experienced times when she did not feel at peace about a business decision; the best thing to do was communicate with Kosta. They have kept this habit of communication so well that Kosta now knows to ask, “Why don’t you feel at peace?” before Sammy even says anything. They’re able to come up with new plans together to ensure every situation ends in a win-win where both of them benefit.
WIN-WIN WITH FAMILY
Whether it’s a business partner or a loved one, everyone should be treated equally. This includes children and grandchildren, too. Just because a child is young does not mean they don’t deserve the opportunity to communicate.
When negotiating with their grandson, Kosta and Sammy made sure to properly communicate with him so both sides could benefit. Once, when he was six years old, Kosta and Sammy wanted their grandson to read more often. So, they sat him down and negotiated a win-win: “Win for you because you get toy dinosaurs. Win for us because we want you to read every day.” Kosta and his grandson even shook hands at the end of the deal.
It’s important to tell your children and grandchildren the purpose behind actions. Sammy found she was guilty of occasionally not explaining things to her child in the past. If she was asked, “Why can’t I do this?” Sammy would say, “Because I said so.” Today, she believes explaining the purpose to children can help them learn and grow. Tell them why you want them to read more. Tell them why they can’t cross the road without an adult by their side. It provides them with the opportunity to understand the impact of cause and effect.
You can apply these fundamentals to every component and aspect in your life. Kosta even uses these tips when negotiating with his extended family, like when deciding how often to visit or how often to invite visitors over. The key is to make it so everyone wins every time.
WIN-WIN WITH COUPLES
A very common point of contention between couples is house-hunting. Once again, the key is to communicate so both sides experience a benefit or win-win.
Once, when Kosta and Sammy were house-hunting, they experienced the struggle to agree on a perfect home. The first house, Kosta liked but Sammy didn’t; the second house, Sammy liked but Kosta didn’t. So, they discussed what it was about both houses they liked and didn’t like in order to better understand what both sides needed to “win.” They communicated their honest feelings and negotiated effectively until they knew exactly what was necessary.
One of the features they knew the house needed was multiple closets. Kosta has a colorful, fashionable collection of clothing that Sammy jokes he needs his own closet for. She was willing to have a tiny box as her closet so he could have his own space; however, they knew this would ultimately create conflict. Instead, they decided to be patient and wait until a house with two closets came by.
Kosta now jokes he learned after many nights of sleeping on the couch to always end with a win-win. “Maybe 51/49 instead of 50/50,” he adds. They use win-wins in every large transaction they make: furniture, cars, houses, etc. Any purchase that can mutually benefit them is negotiated first. Because they were patient and did not rush into buying a house, they found the perfect home together: one they both like, a true win-win.
NEGOTIATING THROUGH COMMUNICATION
If you master communication, you’ll master negotiation. This is one of the many aspects of Sammy’s relationship with Kosta that she appreciates. When you truly, openly communicate, it brings to light a new aspect of negotiation. You allow the other party to share their perspective so you can understand the reasoning behind their concerns; in turn, you explain your own reasons for wanting to address the situation. Being an effective, honest listener will help you communicate with others. Sadly, more often than not, people do most of the talking and little listening. But as Kosta says, “You have two ears and one mouth. Listen more, talk less.”
CONCLUSION
In the end, win-wins are always the way to go. Lose-lose doesn’t work, and win-lose leaves one side with resentment. Mutual gain is all about treating people like humans, with respect; honor their feelings before you make a decision. This allows you to feel good about the decisions you make, and it gives your relationships the opportunity to thrive without resentment.
- Published in Coaching, Epic Share, Knowledge, Life, Relationship, Success
The Power of Beliefs
It’s important to be conscious of your belief systems. There seems to be a lot of talk regarding beliefs, but today, Epic Share is breaking down beliefs into three categories: neutral, positive, and negative. To transform your beliefs into power, you need to first understand how negative beliefs impact you.
Neutral beliefs have no judgements behind them. They are black, white, and grey. Positive beliefs are beneficial in some way. Maybe you think having a glass of wine relaxes you; relaxation is a benefit, and so this is a positive belief. There are many examples of neutral and positive beliefs you experience in your day-to-day life. However, the focus should be on negative beliefs because those are what are really stopping you from moving forward. You need to be able to shift and transform your negative beliefs into powerful ideas.
NEGATIVE BELIEFS
Sammy once believed black cats were bad luck, but when she started the path to take control and move away from being the victim, she began analyzing her previous beliefs. She learned the black cat as a sign of bad luck was something she picked up from her father. From a young age she wholeheartedly believed black cats meant something terrible would happen, but her analysis of this belief brought her the chance to ask her dad why he believed black cats were bad luck. His response was, “I don’t know. My dad told me they were.” Generations pass down the beliefs we hold today. Sometimes there is no purpose. It simply gets inherited through the generations.
Kosta adopted a belief with true value from his parents: you can achieve anything you want. If you set your mind to it, you can have anything you desire. Kosta is a true testament to that concept. This concept helped him analyze and understand the belief system surrounding his culture and family; today, he has his own set of beliefs, which he views as a reason for his success. Being able to shift your mindset to accept changes to your belief system can help you overcome your limitations.
DIFFERENT BELIEFS
It’s important to recognize everyone has their own belief system. Everyone processes information differently and overcomes hurdles differently. Before every live show, Kosta and Sammy have a brief discussion about the concept; this week, they discovered something about each other: Sammy overcomes negativity through affirmations. Kosta, however, prefers to take physical action.
If someone were to tell you, “You’re not good enough,” how would you react? Sammy would create internal affirmations and remind herself, “I am beautiful. I am wonderful.” These affirmations would be a tool to shift her consciousness and build confidence before moving forward. Kosta, on the other hand, would use that negative comment as the fuel for his motivation to go above and beyond expectations. If someone told him he was not destined for success, he would go out and make success happen! Both are acceptable and effective ways of overcoming differences in opinions and beliefs. It all depends on your methodology and how your heart and mind work.
TRANSFORMING YOUR NEGATIVE BELIEFS
The key to being successful is to learn how to adapt and transform negative perspectives into positive ones. It’s very simple. All you have to do is shift your negative belief systems into positive belief systems. This is a transition everyone experiences in life. At the end of the day, we’re human. It’s in our DNA to want to grow and develop.
ANALYZE YOUR BELIEFS
Question everything. Sammy asked her father where the idea of black cats as bad luck came from, and discovered it had no purpose and no truth; this doesn’t mean her realization is a universal truth. It means, for her, the black cat was not a sign of bad or good luck. She realized it was an easy belief to transform because she took the time to analyze what it really meant to her.
DROP YOUR ASSUMPTIONS
Quite often we make assumptions without having any facts. If you are a fact-based individual like Kosta, you need to have proof behind information. It doesn’t mean you never make decisions without facts; sometimes you might still assume things. The difference between someone who accepts assumptions and someone who transforms them is whether they dive into the facts to understand assumptions and turn them into truth. Get to the bottom of your assumptions to understand what they’re doing there and if you even need them.
SHIFT YOUR PERCEPTION
When you accumulate a negative belief, shift it to positive! When you do this, there’s much more you’re allowing yourself to have in life. Assumptions limit people’s ability to grow, to be happy, to be successful, and to prosper.
Assumptions are much like a disease, but people who are happy and successful have learned how to quickly filter through assumptions and negative beliefs. Society simply doesn’t ask as many questions as it should. If someone says something, people believe it. Kosta and Sammy are confident their seven-year-old grandson would ask the question, “Why is the black cat bad luck?” This is because he has learned how to question the world around him and form positive beliefs.
Kosta believes there is no such thing as luck, good or bad. Luck stands for “labor under correct knowledge.” If you put in the work and you have the knowledge, it’s guaranteed you’ll be lucky every single time.
BE CONSISTENT
Any success is founded on consistency. Kosta discusses this concept in his book, “Organic Networker” and in his trainings. It’s important to be consistent in whatever you do.
CONCLUSION
What’s important is truth. Truth might differ for everyone, but the methods of finding positive beliefs is the same. Keep up with these steps to frequently check-in with your belief systems; challenge yourself to transform every day.
- Published in Business, Coaching, Epic Share, Knowledge, Life, Networking, Success
Balancing the Heart and Mind
“The greatest distance in the world is just 14 inches: from the mind to the heart.” – Unknown
The heart and the mind don’t always agree; in fact, they usually disagree. Consider how your heart and mind would react to a store having the following promotion: free shipping on sales over $75. Your heart would say, “Free shipping! Let’s do it!” Meanwhile, your mind would say, “No way! We are not spending that much for free shipping!” This is why balance between the two is important.
Sammy comes 100% from her heart when communicating and making decisions; however, being in a relationship was an eye-opener for her. She came to a realization: you need your mind to make decisions and you need your heart to love. Kosta, on the other hand, makes most of his decisions from his mind, not his heart. He considers himself to be on the business side of decision-making. This is why they’re known as a yin-yang couple. They are reverse versions of each other, but there is a balance between them. When it comes to business and common sense, Kosta is the master; when it comes to intuition and emotional understanding, Sammy is queen. She brings heart into his business, just as he brings realism into her dreams. This doesn’t mean one or the other is right or wrong. A balance is what’s needed.
Learning how to balance the heart and mind is a difficult, but important skill to have. Balancing your heart and mind will help you internally, in your relationships, and when you’re making decisions.
BALANCE ISN’T 50/50; IT’S ABOUT BEING WHOLE
Sometimes Sammy needs Kosta’s advice to make a decision. She comes from the heart and is able to stay in the heart vibration because she knows Kosta is there to protect her with his mind; it’s guaranteed his common sense will help her. Additionally, when doing events and seminars, Sammy looks to Kosta for his assistance behind the scenes. Her reliable advice from Kosta is why she says, “Follow your heart, but don’t forget to take your brain with you.” Balance is about helping each other. It’s a give and take.
TRAIN YOURSELF TO WORK FROM GOODNESS
Your heart and mind should work from a position of goodness. It’s helpful to have someone you can discuss your heart and mind’s goals with. When Sammy has a heart-centered decision she wants to make, Kosta brings his mind and advises her through communication. He asks, “What is your intention?” This is because when you make a decision from the heart, you must make sure the outcome is something you want. Many times, when you come from the heart, an outcome might not make sense. Epic Share breaks it down into three situations:
- If it feels right and it makes sense, move forward.
- If it feels wrong but it makes sense, pause and investigate.
- If it feels right but it doesn’t make sense, ask your mind to trust your heart.
Whether you are the heart or the mind in a partnership, you can trust your intuition and gut feeling. You just need to train your mind to believe in your heart.
DISCUSS THOUGHTS/FEELINGS WITH YOUR PARTNER
When you have an idea and it comes from the heart—whether it’s saving the world or starting a business—approach your mind. You need realistic advice, facts, and purpose. Otherwise, you’ll have no direction. You can’t save the world if you can’t save yourself first.
LEARN WHERE AND WHY YOUR WEAKNESSES ARE
Understanding what your weaknesses are and why you have them can shed light on the direction you must take to improve the balance between your heart and mind. Communication is a weakness many people have, for example. If you feel you don’t understand others very well, remember you have two ears and one mouth, so focus more on listening than talking. The heart and mind have different functions, but they need each other. Don’t think to yourself, “I am the mind. That’s all I have.” You need your heart and your heart needs your mind. Keep an eye on your emotions so you don’t over or under express.
Another common weakness is jumping into situations without thinking or feeling first. In this case, remember to put your heart and mind to work! Don’t be afraid to ask each other for help. At the beginning of their relationship, Sammy was afraid to ask for help because she thought Kosta’s personality was too strong for her heart-centered self. However, when they got to know each other, they realized they were together for a reason. You can learn from your partner. Sammy and Kosta are not the only yin-yang couple in the world. Many couples are opposites. You just have to learn how to adapt to each other, how to work together, and how to interlace your skills. Couples aren’t the only ones who can balance each other though; friendships, family bonds, business colleagues all have different personalities that complete each other. If you’re a master at something, look for the opposite master and ask for advice.
CONCLUSION
When Sammy and Kosta ask each other for advice, they listen 100%, but sometimes they don’t take the advice they were given. This doesn’t mean the advice they shared wasn’t helpful. It means they were able to consider a different perspective before making a decision with their heart and mind. Perhaps the next time you are struggling to balance your heart and mind, you just need to hear all sides of the situation. Be open to other ideas and remember to always keep your heart and mind in harmony.
- Published in Coaching, Epic Share, Knowledge, Life, Relationship
Relationships and the Laws of Love
This week was a special episode because it aired at 11 AM, for 11 minutes, on July 11th. Repetitive numbers, such as 11:11, are a call to action. If you suddenly see this or any repeated number, take the time to make a wish or think about your next manifestation.
The first concept being covered on Epic Share is the laws of love, but it isn’t just for romantic relationships with your partner. Relationships are also about yourself, your friends, your family, your children, your coworkers… If you know the laws of love and you apply them to your relationships, your life will flow peacefully and effortlessly. Kosta and Sammy have collected these tips over time to assist you in excelling at your relationships and continuing to perfect your connections.
Your relationships, whether romantic, friendly, or professional, need the following qualities:
- Kindness
- Loyalty
- Gratitude
- Consistency
- Integrity
If you don’t have these qualities in your current relationships, your relationships will struggle. You’d have to work harder to have a successful relationship than someone who utilizes these qualities daily. Don’t worry! Today, Epic Share is all about these laws of love.
KINDNESS
There isn’t a template for kindness and it isn’t a quality that can be taught easily, but there is one rule that’s easy to follow: being kind is about treating others the way you would want to be treated. Simply treat others as the humans they are. You know in your heart what kindness is because it makes you feel good to give and receive.
LOYALTY
This is a quality that takes time to build, and only seconds to destroy. Building loyalty doesn’t happen overnight, but if you are able to accomplish this, you can build trust in your relationships.
GRATITUDE
Show the people around you you’re grateful to be with them. Whether it’s your friend, your children, your partner, or your coworker, show your appreciation. You can express your appreciation verbally, in writing, or as a gesture. Just saying you’re grateful for something is different than taking the extra step to show you’re grateful.
Many people say they’re shy about communicating, but you don’t have to speak; you can write. There are many ways to express gratitude. Sammy is known for her long thank you cards, which she writes from her heart. However, for Kosta, his gratitude for Sammy, his staff, and his friends is shown in other ways. He is known to go out of his way to express his appreciation for the relationships he values. Anyone can show their gratitude for others in a multitude of ways. For example, someone who isn’t inclined to write their feelings can show appreciation through simply signing a card or gifting flowers. No excuse should stop you from telling someone you are thankful for them.
CONSISTENCY
If you want to build trust in a relationship or manifest a desire, be a person of your word. When you say you’re going to do something, do it. There’s value in being consistent every day; it creates a routine to success.
Known as a global citizen, Kosta has traveled the world: he’s visited 200+ cities, 60+ countries, and lived in nine countries. Overtime, he has accumulated knowledge about differing cultures. One of the most consistent cultures, in his experience, is that of Japan. Kosta considers the Japanese to be people who stick to their word; they keep their promises.
Consistency is truly valuable in achieving your desires. Sammy believes Kosta’s success is attributed to his consistency. He was never the kind to come to work for a day and disappear for another three days; Kosta was consistent and came to work every day. This value is also applied to Kosta and Sammy’s personal life. Whether it’s with your family members, your coworkers, or your friends, you need to maintain consistency. Make sure whatever promises you make, you keep.
INTEGRITY
Integrity and consistency come hand-in-hand when you are a person of your word. If you say something, mean it. If you aren’t sure, don’t say it. When you say something, you put those words out in the world. Words are difficult to take back. At the end of the day, when you strip away your credentials, your money, your accessories, what you’re left with is your integrity and how people will remember you.
If you make a promise and then change your mind, or something came up and you can’t fulfill those expectations, communicate. Just because you promise something doesn’t mean you can’t take it back. If an emergency arises or you simply change your mind, that’s okay! Everyone is guilty of overpromising and underdelivering at times, but by communicating, you can stay a person of your word.
CONCLUSION
All over the world, relationships are maintained every day: in the office, at home, and in the community. However, no matter what kind of relationship it is, everyone requires the same qualities. So, whether you’re being kind to a friend, being loyal to a partner, or showing appreciation to your employees, utilize the laws of love to develop and maintain healthy relationships.
- Published in Coaching, Epic Share, Life, Relationship
